I don't think I'm going to update this thing much more.
Not unless I have something actually important to say, I guess.

I do not feel like writing whatsoever. I don't know why I am then?
So I'm not gonna write much.

I think it was Friday I went to the movies with Dave, Tia and Gemma. We saw The Joneses. I liked it alot. Afterwards we went and got Indian food. We got four orders of this like soup stew stuff with chickpeas and potatoes with rice and some sorta bread. It was really really yummy.

Saturday I layed in bed and slept all day and did nothing and it was wonderful.

Today I hung out with Susan Tia and Tj. We hung out in Tia's room for a while. Then we went to Bombers. We were going to drive around in circles to wait for Tall Matt to come home so Susan could drop off some pots and pans at his house, but my mom called of course and told me to come home. So I had Susan drive me back to Tia's and they waited outside of it with me until she got here. Even though Susan could have driven me? Whatever. It was a fun day.

I have school tomorrow. Every Sunday I say "I don't know how I'm going to get through this week." But thankfully the week always ends eventually.

Last night I went to an art exhibit. When we got to Proctors my parents were arguing on where to park so we for some reason ended up parking in the back, which costs 5 bucks. When I got there my grandparents were already there, talking to Mr. York. I went over and said hi and Mr. York told me he remembered my name from when he was my art teacher in the 6th grade. So he voted for me. And he told me I looked nervous and told me I shouldn't be nervous about people seeing my art. I was really just nervous about where my friends were because none of them were there yet and I didn't want to be alone for another second. While telling Tj how to get where the event was happening over the phone I talked to Mrs. Bonville for a bit. I sorta stood around for a minute. My mom took pictures of me. When I saw all of them walk through the door I got super happy and walked toward them. Kara got me a Buccaneer bar, which I love so very very much. I introduced them to my grandmother. My mom told me they she and my dad and grandparents were leaving, even though she said they'd stay until 7. I didn't mind though. We talked a little to the teachers, and they all voted for me a whole bunch of times even though it was only supposed to be once per person. It was adorable. Mrs. Wayne took a picture of me in front of my starfish vase, and then a picture of me and Savahnna in front of our boxes. A woman standing next to it was admiring my butterfly box, and I told her if she wanted she could buy it. She asked how much it was going for and I just said "Umm..uh...I don't know. I've never sold anything. How much do you think it's worth..?" She put my name and stuff in her cell phone and said she'd think about it. It was getting a little crowded and full of people so we went downstairs and sat in Muddy Cup for awhile. There was a jazz band playing, and though they were really good, it was really loud and I just wanted a little peace and quiet. After awhile we went back upstairs to see if they had done a drawing or whatever yet. Mr. York told us it'd be happening downstairs. So we went back downstairs. Either they never did the drawing downstairs, or we just didn't hear it, but when we went back upstairs to see what was going on, everyone had left. So we stayed up there for a minute to take a more thorough look at all the pictures. Then we took the bus back to Dave's house to watch a movie. I was really surprised my dad let me go. Tj's dad wouldn't let him go which hasn't happened in a really long time. Usually I'm the one who can't do things. We watched a movie called The Collector. There was lots of blood and I enjoyed it. My dad called and told me I didn't have to be home until 12. I was so surprised and excited. We watched the first few minutes of another movie called Gentlemen Broncos. What we watched of it was hilarious. Especially one particular part where a very ugly guy kept going "Ooo00oOooh" in the girls ear. I walked home and made it home by 12 o'clock exactly. Minus the three minutes my mother took to answer the door. I had a hugehugehuge amount of fun that night.

Today I slept nearly all day long. It was rainy most of the day, but when I woke up it was pretty sunny looking out. I was getting ready to watch Antichrist when Tia called and said we were going back to Dave's house to finish Gentlemen Broncos. When we got there Dave wanted to go to Proctors to see Planet of the Apes. But I had no money and we only had 25 minutes to get there. So instead we went up to Dave's room to watch the rest of the movie from last night. The whole movie was adorable, hilarious and a lot like a better version of Napoleon Dynamite. I enjoyed every bit of it. After the movie was over we met Gemma at the corner. We stood around in a circle trying to figure out what everyone was doing. Tj was originally going to come home with me so someone could pick him up to take him home, but he didn't want to go home yet so I left without him. When I got home I watched a little of American Haunting with my parents. That movie is awful. Then I made a bagel and decided to write this even though I didn't really feel like it.

Now I will watch Antichrist and then go downstairs and probably eat another bagel.

I don't feel like writing but if I don't do it now I'll forget everything. I've already forgotten most of Friday.

On Friday I went to see Hot Tub Time Machine with Dave, Tj and Tia. We went to the Bowtie. Before Dave met us there we tried to go get our tickets but I'd forgotten my ID and so did Tj and Tia I think. They'd never IDed me before even though I'd been there a whole bunch of times. They said we needed someone 21 or older to get the tickets for us which made no sense, but we kept waiting for Dave. While waiting we saw Kelly Spencer and her boyfriend and we went outside to go talk to them. Kelly's really cool. I like her. Dave got there a couple minutes later and he got our tickets for us. We went and got seats in the last row all the way in back. I had really low expectations for the movie, but it turned out to be really really funny. I laughed like, every five seconds. It was totally worth the money I was supposed to make last for another 3 days. After the movie Tia called her mom to come get her and Dave went to the bus stop. I didn't want to go home and neither did Tj. So Tj and I went to Bombers and he got BBQ tofu fries and split them with me. It was nice of him. It took us only a few minutes to finish it. I think we were both really hungry. When we were done Tj walked me to the bus stop, and the bus got there in only a few minutes. Dave was at the bus stop next to the one I was at, under the bridge, so we ended up getting on the same one. It was nice to just talk to him for awhile. He's fun to talk to. I wish we did it more often. When we got off the bus we went to the Quick Stop so he could get soda or whatever. I stood outside and watched his bike for him. As I was waiting, I noticed snow flakes falling from the sky. I crazily started laughing out load at the fact that the day before it was 80 degrees. This city needs to make up its freaking mind. I walked home after that.

Yesterday I went to a social action conference with Tj and Dave. Tj walked to my house and we called Dave on the way to the bus stop to see if he was still coming with us. He sounded half asleep and said he would meet us there later, so we waited at the bus stop without him. We took the 55 all the way to Albany. We asked a guy who looked friendly and like he would know the city really well directions on how to get to UAlbany. He told us where a 12 bus stop would be. While walking around looking for it, we got lost and decided to turn back around. On our way back up to Central Ave we asked a mad with a Canadian flag tattooed on his neck how to get to UAlbany too. He didn't know but asked his friend, a toothless black woman named Paulina I think, if she knew. She gave us really good directions and told us there was pretty much no way we could walk there, but that a 10, 11 and 12 bus would be the best to get on. But a 12 would be the best of all those choices. She also told us exactly where a bus stop was, and we only had to walk little bit before we got to it. The bus got there in only a couple of minutes and the bus ride was a little long, but not really to get there. When we got off in front of the college, we asked a boy jogging down the sidewalk how to get to the Lecture hall. He gave us directions that were a little confusing, but we got it eventually after awkwardly looking for someone who looked nice to ask better directions too. It took a while because we were both too scared to ask, and every student around us looked mean. Someone told us it was just down the stairs and through the door. When we finally made it there, it looked as if everything was pretty much ending. It was a little disappointing, but atleast we made it there. An adorable old vegan lady walked over to us and offered us veggie wraps. She gave Tj and I both two each. One while and one whole wheat. She talked to us a little bit, and she was super nice. She gave us giant loafs of bread which we snacked on for awhile. She also gave me a bag with three bagels in it. We looked around at stuff, and briefly talked to some Troy Bike rescue people. A boy sitting at the table for it complimented my shirt. He was pretty handsome and I liked his mustache. Dave got there a little while after we did. He found the place a million times faster than we did. We sat at a table for a minute or two, then went into one of the classrooms to listen to a Black Panther dude named Ashanti talk about stuff. I tried to listen, but I for some reason could not stop day dreaming about other things. When that was over with we took the 12 bus back to Central Ave for the after party where the bands would be playing. As soon as we were nearly there my mom called saying she wanted me to come home because it was such a long bus ride. I was pretty upset about it, but I just said okay.Dave and Tj tried to coax me into going anyway, and I didn't know what to do. I felt really shitty and pathetic for just doing whatever she says, but I couldn't just go anyway. I was really afraid that if I didn't go I'd make them both mad at me, but I was too scared to go. I stood there and thought about the whole situation for a minute. I just decided to go home. It was a really long bus ride. A kid I know named Zach Vanentin got on the bus and said hi and we talked for a second or two, but he spent the whole time talking to somebody on his phone. I put on my iPod and stared at the ceiling until I was home. When I did get home my dad told me he would have let me stay because I went all the way there for a band I didn't get to see, and he didn't want me taking the bus home anyway. I guess even he won't overrule my mother. She's fucking evil.

Today I was supposed to go to a show at Northern Lights. I told my mom about it and she said it was too far and too late on a school night. This time I actually didn't mind she said no because I didn't want to go that badly anyway. I just wanted to sit around and do nothing today. Apparently Tia felt the same way. She mostly just wanted to hang out, but she didn't really want to do it at a show. Dave didn't want to go at 3 o'clock which was the only time Tj's parents were willing to drive because they had dinner plans. Tj got all mad and started making me feel really bad about it through text messages, then made Tia feel bad about it all through AIM. He claims he wasn't trying to make us feel guilty and sad, but he did a really good job at it. He assured us he wasn't mad, and asked if we were up for hanging out. So he came over and we sat around and drew and painted stuff for awhile. We ordered Chinese food and everything was really really really good. Or it just tasted really good because I was really hungry. I dunno. But it was great. I drew some apples on a canvas that I intend to paint later on. My mom came and got me around 6:30 or somewhere around that time. I sat at a table and sewed together a little pink coin purse with some of the fabric I got from an estate sail. It came out a lot better then I expected. I'm gonna try and fix up the sewing machine so I can make bigger, better things.

I have school tomorrow. I miss my ceramics class soo sosooosososoo much. :/ I need to get back to the life sized human head I'm making.
It's been a week since I've done anything to it.

I have this all written out in a notebook so I wouldn't forget anything when I finally decided to type it.

On April 2nd this is what I wrote.
Today I went to see a movie with Dave, Tj and Tia. It was alot of fun. We took the bus to Little Anthony's and got vegan pizza which was delicious. After we finished eating we got back on the bus to go to the Spectram. While we were waiting for it to start Dave bought us all Arizona's. We got our movie tickets and went to find seats. The movie, Greenberg, was really really good. Ben Stiller played a character I'd never seen him do before. I loved every little bit of it. After the movie we walked to Dave's old apartment so he could get his jacket, hoodie and Netflix movies.After that we went to the bus stop that was right on front of some place where roller derby was just ending. So there were lots of pretty girls in fishnets and face paint coming out. The whole wait for the bus and the whole bus ride home there was some crazy black man who made no sense at all every time he talked. He kept talking about how black people don't do anything adventurous and all they do is sell drugs in their hoods. And kept talking about the ocean and whales and dinosaurs and all sorts of crazy shit. It was pretty funny listening to him acutally. But after awhile it got boring to talk to him, but he just wouldn't stop talking. Some other guy on the bus who smelled like he took a shower in cologne was getting pissed off and kept telling him to shut the fuck up, and saying he was going to fuck him up and stuff. Dave, Tj and I got off together. Tj walked home with me and we sat on my front porch until his dad came to get him. While we were waiting my mom told me I was going to be grounded for 5 days for not telling them I was going to Albany. I knew right away it was not going to last that long, since I had not been grounded in like, 7 years. I felt bad for Dave giving us so much money so I'm going to paint him something. Maybe a picture of a cat or something.

On April 5th this is what I wrote.
When I went to Tia's house she informed me we were going with Niki to Albany. I freaked out and was pretty much ready to just go home. But they convinced me to call my mom and tell them I was going to Barnes and Noble. So I called 'er even though I didn't feel right about it. Niki picked up some juggalo boy named Richie who I knew from my mall ratting days and she dropped him off some place near where I used to live when I was little. After that we left for Albany. She parked her car somewhere near Madison Ave, then we walked to Bombers. Everyone got food except me because I had a tummy ache a little. After Bombers we found some little art supply store that I suggested we go in. They had a huge canvas on sale. I was about 2 dollars short, but the man working there gave it to me anyway. It was so nice of him. I thanked him over and over. When we left there we went to a little park thing. We walked around there for a little bit. Once we were done at the park I decided it was time I should go home since my mom called earlier and the bus ride back home is a little long. I had no idea how to get around Albany and neither did any of them. We asked a million strangers where we could find a 55 stop, and nobody knew until somebody told us Central Ave, and then I felt really silly for forgetting that. But we still didn't know how to get to Central Ave from where we were. I started panicking a little and without thinking I just decided I'd find it faster if I were alone. I forgot to get money from one of them for bus fair, and it was too late to turn around by the time I remembered that. I had no choice but to ask strangers for money because there was no way in hell I was going to tell my parents where I was. I started asking nearly everyone who walked passed me. I asked about ten people before I finally got enough for the bus. I got 40 cents from a cute indie girl, and a dollar from a guy covered in white paint. I got on Central Ave and even though I had made it to the bus stop and it would be there in five minutes my heart was still pounding because I knew something would go wrong and I'd get in trouble. My stomach started to hurt from being so scared. When the bus driver got there I asked if I could get on even though I was ten cents short. He said yes, but to have all the money next time. I was relieved about that. My mother kept calling every few minutes asking where I was and accused me of lying. I was going to stick to my Barnes and Noble story no matter what. I didn't want to keep on lying to her, but I felt like I had no other choice. When I got off the bus I half jogged half walked all the way home. When I got home the first five minutes of being there seemed fine, but then she started screaming about how I lie all time, take advantage of her and said I wasn't a part of the family because I was never home. She started yelling about things that made no sense that she must have just had on her mind or something. Yelling stuff about how I need a job and I am really messy and she called me a bitch a whole bunch of times. Then she started crying. I was so confused, angry, happy to be home, sad and pissed off all rolled into one. When she was done yelling I grabbed my iPod and walked up to my room. I'm not going to be sneaking around anymore. It was fun, but was definitely not worth all that. I'm so tired of this. I don't fucking like her.

And this morning I wrote this about yesterday.
Yesterday I went on a nature hike with Dave, Tj and Tia. We walked up the bike trail by SCCC because there was some abandoned mansion towards the end of it. It turned out to be two abandoned houses of average size, but I was totally excited nonetheless. They were easy to get into. Not like the old school I always went to where you had to climb up the side of the roof and then through a window. The houses were really fun exploring. I found some pretty flowery wallpaper to talk with me so I could glue it in my pink book thing. Tj found an adorable hat that I also decided to take with me. While exploring the second house two guys came in and they didn't look very threatening so I wasn't scared of them. After we finished looking around the awesome houses we kept walking in hopes of maybe finding more houses to look around.We didn't find anymore abandoned houses, but we did get to see some gorgeous nature. Everything around us was beautiful. We walked through lots of little swamp things using a long stick as a bridge. While attempting to walk through another swamp thingy my shoes go totally soaked and I'm pretty sure everyone else's did too. We walked to the mall when we were done so they could get egg rolls and lo mein. Tj gave me one of his egg rolls but half way through it I decided I didn't want it anymore so I gave it to Tia. We went over to Payless so Dave could look at shoes. They didn't have the pair he wanted, so we got on the bus. They got off around Tia's house so Dave could get his bike and Tj could go sit in Muddy Cup for awhile. My parents came and picked me up from McDonald's parking lot.



I finally got Netflix back. I watched Feed on the computer. It was totally weird and fucked up, and I loved it. I don't know what I'm going to watch next, but I do know I am not leaving my room for anybody today.

I've really been slacking on this thing. I don't write about stuff until like, four days after they happen.

Saturday I went to the bakery to watch a cupcake eating contest. I asked my parents if they could drive Tia and us there, and they actually said yes which was weird because they don't really like driving anywhere. We got there late and the contest was over. We sat around for awhile. I started doing a puzzle of a piggy and a chick, and everyone joined in and it was loads of fun. When we finished the puzzle we played Taboo. Kara won, but I was a close second. We played with this girl named Sheela who seemed pretty nice. Around 4:30 or something like that we all walked to the bus stop. Kara got on a bus before ours so we stood around and talked about stuff until it got there. It was a long bus ride and the seats we were sitting in smelled like beer. We were pretty sure some kids were laughing at one of us, or all three of us, or something. It was annoying. I had my parents pick me up from Taste of China and bought a Snapple while I was waiting.

Every minute I'm not with my friends I'm upset. They distract me from being sad. But my mother won't let me be with them. Which makes me sadder. I wish I could tell her to fuck off, but I can't. Oh, well.

I had a slumber party at Tia's yesterday. Kara, Tj and Dave came over. It was really fun. Tj got to stay too because his parents kicked him out. A little while after Dave left we played a really great game of charades. I got to come up with some of the suggestions to pull out of a hat. I came up with very difficult but funny ones like "OMG I just drank a lava lamp" or "Trying to make someone think you know how to fix a car." It was the best time I'd had in awhile. Tj, Kara and I slept on the bed, and Tia slept on the floor next to it. I ended up sleeping, then waking up and talking to everyone for a bit, then falling back to sleep, then waking back up, then sleeping all night until it was time for Kara and Tj to go to the bakery. I gave Tj nine dollars but made him promise he'd save it for when he really needed it. When they left Tia and I laid in bed and laughed and talked about stuff until my dad came and got me and we drove to Price Chopper so I could get blue berries and pineapple. When I got home I took a shower, made blueberry pancakes and fell asleep. I woke up at 6:30ish and had pretty much slept the day away. Tomorrow I kind of want to sit in my room and paint all day. I have a big picture of my face drawn out on a big canvas, but I still haven't added color to it. You can't even tell it's my face until you're a few feet away from it and I love it. I think this one might come out pretty good.

Two of my ceramic pieces made it to a regional art show. Mrs. Wayne picked out like, 8 or 9 things from all of her classes, then all the art teachers narrowed it down to three. Two of the three were mine. How cool is that!? The other one was Savahna's eye box which is totally cool looking. I'm really proud of myself.

For spring break my mom and aunt are taking me to the Mummers Museum. I am extremely excited.

I walked to Tia's house after my guitar lesson. It was a really nice walk, and didn't feel like it took long. Tj was already there when I got there. We walked downtown to the Muddy Cup to meet up with Dave. When Dave still wasn't there but the bus was going to be there in a minute, we walked to the bus stop and hoped he'd make it in time. When the bus showed up and Dave still wasn't there I was a little disappointed. When we got there I got some lo mein and shared it with Tj. They started playing just as I was about to finish it up. I got right up front, and sung along to all their songs. They were so good and I never wanted it to end. I just wanted them to keep playing forever. Dave made it, and I was really glad because I love when he's around. When they finished playing Tia got some lo mein and we sat in the food court for awhile. I had to get on the bus at 8:15. Earlier then I wanted, of course. While waiting at  bench at the bus stop, MaryAnn and he mom showed up and she asked what I was waiting for. When I told her the bus, she offered me a ride home. I was very happy about it. It was very nice of her. The back of her moms car was full of beer cans, and there was a super fuzzy warm blanket on the seat seat. Now that I'm home I'm bored and wish I was still at the mall. :( I don't want to have to go home ever. I don't want to be here anymore.

On Thursday I went to Tia's house. Tia,  Kara, Tj, and I were going to walk to Central Park. Dave was going to meet us there. I was really excited because I hadn't been to the park in centuries. When we got there we went to the park across from Tiny Tot Land. It doesn't have a real name, so I just call it that. We got on the swings. I really missed swinging. It's so fun. Dave showed up on his bike. Then we moved over to some horse swings, then to another set of swings. Dave was kind enough to ride his bike to Price Chopper and got Sun Chips, lemonade, Arizonas, and a muffin. We sat at a picnic table with only one side. I was having lots of fun, but then my mother called and told me she wanted me to come home. She said to start walking and she'd come and get me half way, but I ended up walking the whole way. I was really mad at her for making me come home at 7.

Friday Susan told me about Art Night. It sounded really awesome. Then on the bus ride home I got a text from Tj telling me we should go. That kid can read my mind sometimes. I swear. He said he'd walk to my house. So when I got home I waited around for him to show up. I texted him a couple times asking if he was on his way, and where he was. But I never got a reply. He got there as soon as I was about to leave for Tia's house. When we got there, Kara was already there. We walked to the Moon and River Cafe. I got the most delicious sandwich with tofu, peppers and onions. The bill was difficult to split up into fours, and then give the right amount of change to each other. But I'm pretty sure we figured it out. We went to Bombers after that and Tia got fries and a chik'n burrito. And Tj got tofu covered in hot sauce that was really fucking yummy. We played pictionary for awhile before we decided to actually go check out art night. We went into a gallery that's usually closed, but was open for once. There was a few nice things in there, but nothing that really caught my attention. We went into this other building I always just walked right passed. There was a girl playing violin and it made me really really want to start playing again. There were so many absolutely amazing paintings in there. We walked down a little tiny hallway and saw a bunch of different studios. Two of which were Mrs. Boburka's. An art teacher from school. She had a huge CD collection of old bands and bands I'd never heard of. A drum set, a light up moving alligator thingy. And lots and lots of abstract paintings I just wanted to climb inside of and live in. Tj and Kara went to go wait outside of Proctors and while Tia and I were catching up to them, we ran into Ginger. A lady who talked to us at school who filled our gallery with her awesome pipe cleaner statues. We talked to her and her husband for a bit. I guess her husband will be coming to talk to us at school during the week about his pop up art, that's in the gallery now. They're super nice. After Tj left, Kara, Tia and I sat in the Muddy Cup and I drew with Kara's crayons on a newspaper. Then drew on peoples faces with pen. I took the bus home I think at 10:30 or so. It got there alot faster then it did last time. My dad called and said he'd come and get me from the bus stop, even though it was only a five minute walk, because my mother told him too. When we got home, he went to bed, and I watched episodes of the Mighty Boosh I had already seen.

Yesterday, Tia wanted me to come over at two, but for some reason I was just really really really tired. So I slept until 3ish. My mother woke me up and told me we were going to the mall. So I got dressed and we left. We walked around TJMax for awhile, but neither of us saw anything we might want. We went to a jewelry store so she could get some beads for her Pandora bracelet. As soon as she was about to swipe it, she got paged, and had to go to work. It was annoying. So she panicked and drove me home as fast as she could, and then left for work. When I got home I called Tj and asked if he was with Tia, but he was at home because it was his parent's birthday. So as soon as I was going to call Tia, she IMed me and said that her and Kara were having a craft night, and to come over and bring stuff. So I grabbed my backpack and stuffed it with pencils, cardboard, origami paper, and my case filled with acrylic paint and brushes. I sat on the floor and painted a picture of a green troll with yellow teeth and blood on it's mouth. It's scary and cute at the same time. To me anyway. I made a collage with paper snowflakes and a few magazine cutouts. I sorta like it. We ordered Chinese food and the lo mein was really yummy. And the spring rolls were super good too. Tj showed up, and we sat around and stuff. I started painting a bunch of nothing, just colors on cardboard. My mom made me go home at 8. When I got home  tried to make an adorable little journal like Kara's. It was hard to get the thumb tack through all the paper so I could sew it together, but I got it, and it looks nice. But it's plain and boring right now. I'll write something in it eventually.

Today. I don't know what I'm doing, but I hope it's fun. I have to clean my room so I can have everyone come to my house on of these days. Right now it looks like a tornado went through it.

Yesterday I went to Tia's house to hang out with her, Kara and Tj. It was alot of fun. We ordered 30 bucks worth of Chinese food. I was so full by the end of the night. For some reason, my mom made me take a cab home at only 9 o'clock. The cab driver was a cute young Spanish guy wearing a hat with Mario characters on it.

Tonight I went to a show. The first band to play was Nation of Thieves. They were pretty good. Then after them was California. I didn't like them much. Then Unrestrained played, and they were fucking amazing. Then the Effort played and they were also fucking amazing. I wanted to talk to Dan, because he's a total cutie with an adorable Kermit the frog voice, but I didn't. We made it home by only like, 9:30. So now I'm sitting here bored. I wish I could be someone that wasn't my house. Oh, well. My throat kind of hurts. I'm not really sure why.

I haven't taken the time to thoroughly write anything lately. And I still don't feel like it.